I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my phone needs a breathalizer
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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