well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
