I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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