There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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