David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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