I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
