Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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