8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
