i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your penis caused this!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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