you would pick up someone in the library
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
