Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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