awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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