i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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