my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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