I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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