That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
