Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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