Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
