i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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