I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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