Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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