$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
