just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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