wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
