btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
