Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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