I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
