yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
