Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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