I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
