turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize