ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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