i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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