she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize