Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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