i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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