i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
