A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize