Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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