I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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