and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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