I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize