Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
