dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
