I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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