I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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