At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
