i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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