You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
