he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
