The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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