I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
