If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.