I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
