did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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