I've blown a few things in my day
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
