Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My penis needs a shock collar
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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