I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Shame is for Republicans.
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