Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
