i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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