If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They took my balls.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
