just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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